Now a couple months ago, I met one amazing woman. A woman that changed my way of thinking about healthcare and made me realize that life is way too precious to let it fly by without making an impact. Pat Rush was one of my patients at Valley, and in the couple of months while she battled Luekemia; Pat called Valley her home. I became very good friends with Pat. I talked to her every chance I got. Couldn't go a day or two without my hugs but most of all, I just loved talking to her. She was such a real person, that it bewildered me and kept my attention everyday. I was fascinated by her stories of teaching math and hearing about her love for strangers. Then Pat had the amazing talent to make you feel amazing and worth something just by her little gestures of "hello". It didn't matter who you were in the hospital or what your position/title, Pat realized that you made a difference in her care and that was something to be very thankful of.
The one thing that Pat made very clear in my life, was my testimony of loving God. There were many moments in my 9 years of doing nursing, that God has handed me "intervention" moments. Moments were I could express my belief and share the love God has given me to strangers; however, being a new believer and let's face it... a not so "prefect" christian. I always felt the words I wanted to share leave my mouth before I could get my words straight, which would always make me sound so special. Now Pat, being totally real and understanding her situation of possibly dying from Luekemia, would always find herself a little frustrated and mad at God. I spent many hours with Pat, not really sharing my beliefs but more listening to her. I always giggled when I heard her curse because she was a math teacher. My sterotype for math teachers was shot! :)
Just sitting there listening and actually hearing Pat's words... taught me so much. It's interesting that in a world with a "microwave-instant ready" way of thinking, that we never realize how important it is to just stop coming up with half-ass responses. That not everything in this "short-life" will have an anwser or an insta-response. I learned how to shut-up and just listen with Pat's assistant. It's hard to believe that sometimes not having the anwser, is okay. This idea is very hard to learn, seeing that I've spent my last fours years in college needing to have, "insta-response" on at all times.
Today, I read Pat's lastest Blog entry.
Sad thing............. it wasn't pat's words I was reading, it was her sister, Sharon sharing the news that Pat is on comfort care measures. That Pat, my amazing friend, teacher and yes, patient at one time, will not be beating Luekemia. That Pat is surrounded by the people who care so dear for her and she is sleeping peacefully. I know she hasn't passed yet, but there is this little part of my heart that weaps just thinking, I may never see Pat again. I might not get another hug and let's face it, I may never hear her swear again ;-)
I think hardest moment in a person's life is coming to terms with the fact that we aren't all powerful, and God is the only one in control.
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