Ready, Set, Heart?!?!?!?

In the last few months, I've learned so much about myself.
I've come to learn that I like quite.
I like to hear myself think and breathe.
I could possibly kill someone for the last spoonful of ice cream, if I've had a bad day.
I've come to learn the amazing skill of tactfulness; however, it's really more like the gift of "inner voice". I just don't say everything that comes to my mind out loud anymore. Amazing, Yes... I know ;-)
I've become good friends with a nun and can say I know two 102 year old's.
I now understand the appreciation of selective hearing, as I've learned to listen to the positive of others and null the sounds of negativity toward the things I can't change.
However, the biggest thing I've learned in the last few months, is that my child's smile can silence all the craziness in my life.
I find recently, that my view on life has changed as my idea of living just one more day is quite possibly a blessing. About two months ago, I found myself dead on a stretcher, having a doctor restart my heart to convert my A-Fib. Sweet... 30 something with heart issues and monitors.
Now for some - this might be where I lost you because you're worried. Then there are a select few that might wish this was actually my obit instead of a blog entry; however, thank goodness for modern medicine... I'm still kicking and thanking God every day for my next day.  On the flip side of it, my great amazing heart got up to 175 beats a minute and rising sometimes over 200, for a good three hours before the doctors got it under control. This is quite possibly the first and only time I will ever get my heart rate to that amazing rate, so being a positive thinker - I ask you... shouldn't I have left that ER a little skinnier?

Now that I've gotten all that off my chest (Wink Wink), I still have to question my happiness and life.
I've always grown up thinking, if it's God's plan; He will make "IT" happen.
Now most Christians have this view, Hallmark makes a killing on this philosophy and hell, I think that Karma wrote a book on this ;-)

So thinking about my life right now, I wonder... What in the world?
My parents just recently moved out of state.
My job is moderately okay, depending on the day and mood of the environment.
My current living quarters look like a bomb went off and the idea of "home" is really just a word in a sign I bought.
The relationship is rocky due to combining households and my friendships keep evaporating into thin air.
My brothers have all left Spokane and to be truthful with myself, the only thing keeping me here in Spokane is Chester and the kids.

At this point, I really feel like a country song gone wrong.
What is God's Plan in my life?

What does one do? When it feels like there are more doors closing, then there are doors opening?
Lost and confused, but trusting God has a plan. Just wish He would share it sometimes.