Miracles... Real or Just an Emotional HIGH?

"Do Miracles Happen or are they just something that happened in the Bible years ago? Doesn't the Bible also say that "God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow? How does this compute?"

As the room sat quiet really trying to comprehend the question, Lisa chimes in with the suggestion that it was a "rhetorical" question, feedback was needed. Then the room became a game of "Mad Lib". Most everyone in the room, determined that miracles were still real and still happening but the census was that we're just too busy to care or notice.

Are we too busy to notice miracles?

Yeah, NO! I think the average person would notice if someone blind started to see again. I also think that if a man really did feed a whole 5000 people with just two loaves of bread and some fish. I also think this would noticed. I also think that if a huge ark showed up in yard over night, I don't know and I could be wrong, but I think you'd notice. So... my question is, "Do miracles really happen anymore?" Who knows.

I do think our definition of miracle is skewed if anything.

Miracle according to the "christian" sense means an unexpected event attributed to divine intervention, ~AKA~ God's hand in someone's life that goes against science and natural law.

However, when I think of the idea of miracle and with this new definition means, I am guilty of using the "miracle" in the wrong sense. Just last week before my Employment Law Final, I remember thinking it would be a miracle, if I could just pass the test with a grade higher than a "B". This would "wow" me but getting an "B" would not be God's hand changing the natural order of the world. Even though that would be nice (hint hint BIG GUY! :) It's still no miracle.

Then when I hear the "New BABY is born" chime go over the intercom at work, I hear people say having a baby is a miracle, but it's NOT! Don't get me wrong, I can understand how the pain of pushing a watermelon size anything through a hole the size of ... Well, you get picture! Even though, this is amazing and awesome. The only birth that has ever been a miracle was Jesus' birth. His mother, got pregnant without doing the nasty. Jesus' mother, got pregnant in a time when women where stoned to death for doing the nasty outside of marriage but somehow, in a crazy world wind of events. Mary lived and married Joesph, who knew Mary was pregnant. Doesn't this seem a little bit of a miracle in itself.

Just think about it... Mary who I think is in her early teen years, gets a visit from an angel, telling her "Your pregnant and by the way... It's God's SON!" Now I could be jumping to conclusions, but I think any teenager in their right mind would of wonder, damn what the hell did I eat, drink or smoke? I know I would of :) Then to think about telling my teenage boyfriend, "Hey want to get married and oh yeah, I'm carrying God's Child!" This is an amazing story and only in the bible does it make sense. In our time and age, Mary would of ended up in some crazy loony bin completely drugged up and her baby, well, either society would of had it taken away or she would of been forced to abort it. That's a scary thought when you really think about. So... back on track, do miracles still happen?

You know, I can't say either way. I want think that I've experienced miracles in my own life but I'm a science guru and I do think that most miracles are a little bit of coincidences. Then again, in 1996 when my family went through a house fire, which almost took the life of my little brother Steven. I can't help but wonder how so many things happened. Steven died in the house, but coughs on my dad's third try in the buring inferno. Robby passes out in the kitchen but somehow ends up outside. I could't find a door handle to save my life, something so simple seemed impossible but the door opened and I felt someone pushing me through the house to safety. I felt something and thought it was my brother but when it pushed me down the stairs, scaring the crap out of me. I turned to yell at NOTHING, Robby wasn't there. Then old people that talked to me outside, telling me to stop worrying because God had it under control. That's was an interesting conversation :) No one saw them, but they were reason I didn't run back into the buring house to try help find Steven. The whole night was blur of crazy events but is was a miracle that a family of five got out of the house fire that should of killed all of us. Who knows, but for some crazy reason... God still has me here and asking the question, "Do miracles still happen?"

What do you think?

If I Could......

About a good week ago, I ran across a friend's status post on facebook asking the question, "If you could do anything and know you wouldn't fail, what would you do?" As I stopped and thought about the question... my list of "what ifs" got huge. There was a whole string of things that I would do, if I knew I could succeed at them without failing. Then I wondered, my list of "what ifs" ....are they really things that are stamped with the knowledge that failure as the outcome or were they nothing more than things that could cause a moment of "judgement" in my life from others. Was I more afraid of the outcome or was I more afraid of what people would think. So I went and asked the question to my friends... "What was their list of things?"

The list came back; flying, singing, playing an instrument, dancing the gig and even one person stated an Iron man. The list went on and on... My list compared to thier list was pretty similar to my friend's but I also wanted to walk in Trump's office and tell him, "Your fired!"

So........ what is it about these "chance of failure accomplishments" that make us sceptical about attaining them? From what I gather, our society, thanks to television, magazines and even high school popularity contests... we have all been told our whole life that it matters what others think or do. Now my question is, how do you raise a daughter telling her that everything she wants is attainable and can be done but, your most wanted dreams, will be dreams that you fight the most for.

Could you hold... the Fat?

Last week, I found myself with a nice back injury. Totally loving life...hahahahah.

Turns out, that even at the young age of 29, you can really hurt yourself! This fact of life was something very hard for me to accept; however, the part that was really hard for me to take.... was watching my physical therapist whip my butt on the Ball, weights and oh yeah, the bike. Not only did she whip my butt, I was sweating balls... seriously, drenching myself from my own sweat. Sick. Yes! Embarrassing. Yes!

This actually was not the worst part; I understand that this might come as a surprise but the worst part was, physical therapist is 7 months highly pregnant. She not only was not sweating or as some "women" have corrected me "glowing". She wasn't even stressing as though this hour and half work was doing anything for her.

So making of course a couple jokes with my pregnant PT. gal, I decide that it was time that Dear Christina take this "getting in shape" a little more to heart. I've been recruited to "Christa's Biggest Loser", a Spokane Biggest Loser event and I've made a little bet with my Best Gal Pal, The Jenn. Now hopefully after a couple of months, I won't get my butt handed to me by pregnant women.

Fingers crossed and watching my "food intake", Dear Christina is on a Diet ;-( Excited for the outcome, but man, I love food!!!! I will miss, hahhahahaha

Teaching Math was Easy!

Now a couple months ago, I met one amazing woman. A woman that changed my way of thinking about healthcare and made me realize that life is way too precious to let it fly by without making an impact. Pat Rush was one of my patients at Valley, and in the couple of months while she battled Luekemia; Pat called Valley her home. I became very good friends with Pat. I talked to her every chance I got. Couldn't go a day or two without my hugs but most of all, I just loved talking to her. She was such a real person, that it bewildered me and kept my attention everyday. I was fascinated by her stories of teaching math and hearing about her love for strangers. Then Pat had the amazing talent to make you feel amazing and worth something just by her little gestures of "hello". It didn't matter who you were in the hospital or what your position/title, Pat realized that you made a difference in her care and that was something to be very thankful of.

The one thing that Pat made very clear in my life, was my testimony of loving God. There were many moments in my 9 years of doing nursing, that God has handed me "intervention" moments. Moments were I could express my belief and share the love God has given me to strangers; however, being a new believer and let's face it... a not so "prefect" christian. I always felt the words I wanted to share leave my mouth before I could get my words straight, which would always make me sound so special. Now Pat, being totally real and understanding her situation of possibly dying from Luekemia, would always find herself a little frustrated and mad at God. I spent many hours with Pat, not really sharing my beliefs but more listening to her. I always giggled when I heard her curse because she was a math teacher. My sterotype for math teachers was shot! :)

Just sitting there listening and actually hearing Pat's words... taught me so much. It's interesting that in a world with a "microwave-instant ready" way of thinking, that we never realize how important it is to just stop coming up with half-ass responses. That not everything in this "short-life" will have an anwser or an insta-response. I learned how to shut-up and just listen with Pat's assistant. It's hard to believe that sometimes not having the anwser, is okay. This idea is very hard to learn, seeing that I've spent my last fours years in college needing to have, "insta-response" on at all times.

Today, I read Pat's lastest Blog entry.

Sad thing............. it wasn't pat's words I was reading, it was her sister, Sharon sharing the news that Pat is on comfort care measures. That Pat, my amazing friend, teacher and yes, patient at one time, will not be beating Luekemia. That Pat is surrounded by the people who care so dear for her and she is sleeping peacefully. I know she hasn't passed yet, but there is this little part of my heart that weaps just thinking, I may never see Pat again. I might not get another hug and let's face it, I may never hear her swear again ;-)

I think hardest moment in a person's life is coming to terms with the fact that we aren't all powerful, and God is the only one in control.

Random Rants of Christina's Life!

NEWS BREAK: The criminally insane go to the Fair and then goes M.I.A.

Okay really... I'm seeing a lot of things wrong with this sentence.

Are you serious? PAUL, our criminally insane patient, who has a rap sheet a mile long of trying to escape from Eastern State Hospital. Found himself today with the prefect opportunity to make his freedom a dream come true. Today, dear Paul, who by the way killed a 78 year old lade in 1987, found himself in the middle of the county fair. Where by just looking at his picture, I wouldn't be able to pick him out of the crowd at all as a nut job. Serious, someone should be losing their job over this. This is not okay in any way at all!

Plus... If a judge sends you to an institute because your a danger to society. Why in the world are you at in Public, exspecially in a Fair. I hope and pray no one gets hurt over someone's lack of responsibility or good judgement!

What Do We Really Believe?!?!?!

With each year of schooling, I find myself questioning a lot of the things I think and do. I find myself morphing into a person that is not the same girl that first thought about college. I am not that cute-little-happy-go-lucky-girl that thought she ruled the world. I find myself looking in the mirror more frequently trying to understand life and "our" purpose. Why are we here? What in the world is the point of this little time we spend on earth? It has to be more than just something of a flute -AKA- The Big Bang. Then we as a society have to be more than just people that destroy the world around us? Aren't we? There has to be more. There just has to be!

Where do I find myself now? In the back row of Mr. Cioffi 300 Core Class wondering, is what we as Christians think about "our purpose" really true? Are we based on principles that come out of the bible or just blue prints of past theologians and philosophers ideas of the "way of life"? Are we really following the true meaning of loving God, our savior or someones idea of what they think it means to be Christian. I don't know anymore! I read my bible. I study the verses and I try my best to decipher what God is trying to tell me but I always find myself questioning the realness of my answers or thoughts. Could a God that made me in His image, make me also bad? I mean, I do sin. I do find moments in life where I don't really act "poster board Christian". Actually to be really real, I'm so Christina that I don't have a single Christian friend. When my life goes crazy, it's not my church that calls to see how things are going? It's not the small group leaders? Actually no one from the "church family" even gives a thought to their followers true needs. SO If I am a part of a "family" that supposedly loves one another like brothers, why is that we treat each others like strangers?

Then to even go deeper with my confusion lately, I find it hard to learn that a lot of the things that we the Christian believe is true. Come from guys that weren't Christians at all. Actually their idea of what God was, was nothing more than some Divine Being of Ultimate Good or the Unmoved Mover. Aristotle and Plato, two guys that were born about 500 years before Jesus. Two guys whose ideas still form huge debates in college class room. Two guys who went down in history as "true Philosophers" about life. The funny thing, neither of them really believed in God as God.

Plato, student of Socrates, believed that we the humans needing to over come the physical world around us. In doing this, one must become one with the "NESS" of everything. Yes, you read that right! If you wanted to understand a chair... You had to understand that the chair here on earth wasn't real. In fact, not only was it not real, but it was just a stepping stone for a person to make it to the eternal realm. Where the Ultimate Chair-Ness Form was waiting our revelation. NICE!?!?!? (totally sarcastic) Basically Plato believed that we all lived in a cave of wonder, which wasn't real at all. It was nothing more than shadows of the real-"ness" in the eternal. Now there are some interesting facts here, think about what Christians are told about the life here on earth. It's nothing more than the "short" life. It's the one where we come to value the creation that God created. In learning more about this world, we also learnt that we should not store our treasures here on earth but in heaven. Hmmmm... sounding familiar?!?!? Oh yeah, the best part... Plato believed that we came hard wired with everything we will ever learn here on earth. We just need things/physical world to stimulate those ideas out of us. This all worked till I asked Mr. Coiffi about our grades. I mean if this is true, we the students already know everything that is in our philosophy book and what my teacher is teaching us. Our grades are nothing to us... Our grades are really his grades. There grades that reflect his ability to stimulate that information out of us, the students because we're hard-wired with philosophy. Mr. Coiffi... just chuckled and made mention his interest to read my reading responses because they should be good (oops:)

Now Aristotle believed that some of what Plato believed was true; however, if someone wanted to learn about the chair here on earth. We don't need to go searching in the eternal realm for answers about the chair. We can just test the chair. This is where our Scientific Method of Process comes from. Aristotle basically just believed that God was real but He was more of a "Unmoved Mover". The Guy who started everything off. We the human just really wanted to find Eudaimonia -AKA- Ultimate Happiness. Now in this Ultimate Happiness, we also needed to realize that life is life, sometimes it will suck but if a person does the good for mankind and lives a GOOD life. Then they will find Eudaimonia. Hmmm... this sounds a lot like our Christian 10 commandments and Golden Rule.

So after these two guys come the Church Guys... the Theologians! (suppose to hear some heavenly "Aaaaaaaaa" sound) Imagine it! Give it a moment... Okay moving on! :)

St. Augustine... Here's a guy that believed that we are all fucked because of Sin. We - Humans want to do good but because our "Will" is tainted from Eve and Adam taking that bit of the apple, we can't do good. This guy was the biggest Pessimist that ever lived. The scary part... this guys ideas are the back bone of a lot of churches. Well, after this jolly guy come Thomas Aquinas.. a guy that didn't believe that we were bad. He also didn't believe that Sin made such a huge impact on our ways of life. Instead, Thomas believed that everyone had the ability to choose good because we were made in God's Image. God is Good, so we are Good.

Okay has anyone picked up on anything yet... I have... turns out that as we continue on ward in this crazy thing called life. More Theologians and Philosophers step up with thier ideas about life. In each one of those guy's idea start to depict the bible and/or God as nothing more than a Super Mall. A place where you can do your one stop shopping and get only what you want. If you don't like the Miracles... then ignore those. If you can't stand the singing... Don't sing. Hey, if you don't really want to do anything... It's okay because GOD is nothing more than a thought. It's crazy to watch our society crumbled in front of my eyes in just a maker of weeks as I go through this class. This class has really questioned a lot of my ways of thinking and yes, my ideas of what the church is teaching. The only thing that seem totally real right now, is my time with God. My time where I bring it to Him real. Where I cry, laugh and yes, even sometimes confuss my stupid "ness" (okay, I had too :) I'm really lucky that I do have my faith and know that God is Real.

Another funny thing I find ... Each guy starting with Plato... all used a Pre-them philosopher's idea -AKA- Blue Print of How to Live and just spiced it up a little. They all added their little flavor of ideas behind the meaning of life but none of them ever seemed to get it right because the philosopher in front them believed they had it right and these guys were wrong. So here is my question... Who really has it right? The Church believes with all their heart that they know it, but when you look into the history of the church. There is a lot of not-so-good things in our closet. We have murdered, killed and even in one point in the history... the priest were selling, "Get into Heaven Free Cards" (indulgence) for just the "Right Price!" All of a sudden my star purchase isn't looking all that bad :).

Now whose right, whose wrong? With all these questions, I find wise words of a pretty amazing woman echoing in my head... "You know... If I am wrong for being a Christian and there really isn't any real point to this life here on earth. Crap... I lived a good life. However, if I am right... I would hate to be that person who thought I was wrong because now they have to explain to God how He's not real! I think that would be harder than just trusting Him here on earth!" (Norma LeLacheur... I miss that lady!)

The other day I got a call from Shawn venting....." Christians and their stupid ways of making the simplest task a stupid revival and/or "Saving Clinic". Like there isn't anything in this world that a Christian can't do before checking in with God. Come on, I think God has better things to do then hear about us moving furniture and washing dishes!"

Now at first I wasn't really sure what to say to him. I just listened and kept my mouth shut. I knew that no matter what I could of said, nothing at that moment would of fixed Shawn's moment of anger. After about thirty minutes of some potty orders and a couple no-so-nice-phrases... I learned Shawn's real issue. Shawn had encountered the dogmatic christian.

See... Shawn was asked to help move this girl from his aunt's church. Everyone had worked for a couple hours straight without eatting and drinking. So when the pizzas showed up, Shawn helped himself and started to eat. Well, just a bit or two into the pizza break, Shawn gets lectured on the importance of praying before eatting and how dare he even think to eat before that. Not wanting to make a scene... he stops eatting for respect but then has to wait another 30+ minutes of people going on and on to God about life! Shawn was a hungry man holding his pizza in hand and now... having to wait for every Tom, Dick and Henry to have thier moment on the soap box pray before eatting. Shawn was pissed!

So what is a dogmatic Christian, well let me enlighten you. It's a Christian that takes God and puts him in a box. It's where you think the only place to worship God is in a church. It's thinking the only mission field on earth is outside of your own home, neighborhood, work place and/or country. It's when I get told by a christian that I'm not a true believer because I drink wine and drink beer. It's when you hear about all these rules and regulations needing to be done before you can ever even think God loves you. It's a Christian that is having some control issues.... That's what I think a true dogmatic Christian is.

In my walk with God, I too have been a victim of the dogmatic christian and their crazy ways of telling me how to believe. I too have found myself sometimes slander by the mouth of a fellow christian. Now don't get me wrong, I think there are times where I don't emanate God's true "poster child" follower, I know this. I'm not prefect by far. Funny thing... GOD knows I'm not prefect and he knows that yes... I Will Sin. Any person that even tries to live life without sin, is living in Sin. Your saying that you can live life without God's forgiveness and true understanding of what the cross means. Your taking God's Bible and making that God. God's more than just some words written in the bible. To me, the bible is the blue print to find God and the person you are to be in His eyes.

So with all that said and after a while of thinking and praying... I told Shawn. "You know, no one can force you into believing or tell you how to love God. That is something you work out with the Big Guy... You work out your own relationship and read/study His word for yourself and stop letting other's teach you the bible. That's when you will start to take control over your own walk and that's when I believe God gives you grace. Plus the next time someone forces you to pray before eatting again... stop them and ask, "Where does it say that in the bible?'"

I think a lot of christians start to loose what Jesus taught. I am guilty of that too and it took a phone call from a friend to make me realize, God is more than just rules and regulations. God is love. God is a chioce. God is well... everything we are not... which is prefect!