Yes, I'm Single!

"Why are YOU single?"

The question that seems to be surrounding my life lately more than, "How are you doing?"

A couple of days ago, Jenn informed me that her recent adventure named "Tristen aka Trent" asked why I was still single because I was smart, pretty and fun. It was hard to really come up with an answer because honestly I don't really know why myself. Actually to be totally truthful, I don't ever even think about it unless I watch some mushy chick-flick movie or see some romantic gesture between two people. Only in those moments do I feel as though I'm missing out on something spectacular; however, as I leave my home completely content with the idea that I have no plans or limitations holding me from going and doing what ever I want. I remember real quick that my life is an amazing adventure of exciting moments, I've made for myself with Mylah and the family/friends I have in my life. So I feel as though I concured this judgemental idea of a woman needing a man. Yay, Me!

Then today as I'm in Fred Meyers shopping for the second love of my life, shoes. The sales clerk assumes that I was trying on these amazing "fuck-me" pumps for a date. I laughed with this joyous freedom laugh, and informed her that her assumptions were way off. I was getting amazing "fuck-me" pumps for myself. Her face was priceless but that motherly "disappointing" look was a knife to my soul. Here she was looking at me and my daughter as though we were some refugees she needed to save. I instantly went from standing nearly 6 feet 2 inches in these heels, to feeling like I was only 2 feet tall.

As I left the store with my daughter totally unware of judgemental situation that had just unfolded in the store. I took Mylah by her hand and tried my hardest not to cry. For a quick second, I almost let this judgemental person distroy my spirit about myself. I questioned the life I was giving my daughter without a father figure in our home. I questioned my own selfishness of having her out of wed-lock. I questioned how good of a mother I was without a man?

However, the more I held my little girl's hand and she skipped next to me with the joy for life. God was real quick to remind me that it was His judgement I should care about. The most amazing moment was when I buckled Mylah into her careseat and she told me, "Mom your the bestest mother I ever had!"

Sometimes I think people need to realize how much their looks, words, and sometimes ignorant judgements can effect the people around them.

The best thing about today....

1) My daughter reminded me every moment today why I am a mother.

2) I'm single because that's what I want. I want to be mom who will soon be entering Gonzaga for her MBA and I did it without a boyfriend. So I must be doing something right!

I'm 15 minutes into my 60 minutes Elliptical workout at the gym. I've got my settings set for a 13 restraint level and about a 10 degree incline. So according to my sweat factor, I should be lossing at least 300 calories, if not more; however, when I looked at the lovely electronic panel that just barely hit 100 calories (loss). I freak out inside.

What?!?!?

This can not be right, the machine has to be busted; however, when I look at my neighbor's for a more accurate level of measurement. Her monitor averaged out to about 13 calories per minute, which was the same as mine. For every minute I spent on this Elliptical Pro-Form, I only lost 13 calories?!?!?!?!

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?

You realize that in ten minutes, I can consume a juicy Whopper w/cheese, fires and a milk shake. That's close to 1300 calories in ten minutes. Revalation!!!! My math teachers were all wrong! Not every equation equals out. (A) does not equal (B) when it comes to the weight/calorie battle.

This to my surprise makes me wonder, how does one conpensate for the calories taken, if lossing them would be like trying to pick the winning numbers for the lotto? It feels completely impossible to win that battle against the bulge. Now this could also be the point where I decide two things, (1) that calories are from the devil and eating is more of a sport of dodgeballing calories to my Booty or (2) Realize that eating isn't bad, but eating a Whopper with all the fixings, is really not my friend.

On the same hand, I'm not a rabbit. So green salads and veggie only diets won't work for me either. I need to find a happy median between the evil calories and the ones that are willing to leave my Booty during a thirty minute workout. However, no matter what... I will never give up those amazing calories a good glass of wine and beer can bring to my ass because that my friend is a crime against my quality of life.

My daughter's Scary 4th

Like most people, when the fourth arrives we all typically find ourselves at a camp fire or with family and friend's enjoying some holiday firework show. Fireworks in my life, have always been a scary thing due to my mother's amazing way to bring the fear of God upon us if we ever played with fireworks; however, with that fear came lack of knowledge about fireworks. I knew they could be very bad, if not properly supervised or done by trained individuals. I knew they could and are very dangerous to kids but I never really grasped the true nature of a firework, till I heard my little 4 year old daughter share the story that will forever change the life of a little boy, his family and friends and let's face it... my daughter's life!

It all started on Saturday, July 3rd. Mylah and me had found ourselves around amazing people watching a UFC fight on paper view. Well, I found myself watching a UFC fight through the fingers on my hand and Mylah found herself playing with a Leapfrog and another little girl, totally oblivious to the UFC fights all together. After the fights, the party moved to the front where we all did a few "pre-fourth of the July" practice run with some fireworks. Being a little scared myself, I stayed pretty far away from the center of the fun, which turned out to be good because we had a firework explode not even 5 feet off the ground and into the watching crow. A little scary, an enough scare to put Mylah at bay about Fireworks. Turns out after some nice 20/20 hindsight, I'm glad that "dud" happened to scare Mylah enough to really grasp the dangers of fireworks. That moment I think changed how the rest of my daughter's story will end.

On the fourth of July, Mylah and me were on the beach of a friend's mother's house, watching an amazing show of fireworks. They were going off everywhere. It didn't really matter where we looked, you saw amazing bright colors and loud booms. It was spectacular and no words of mine would ever do the justice in just how amazing the show was. All I can say was it was beautiful and one amazing way to celebrate the fourth!

Now the 5th, became the day of reality check! The day which I think will never be forgotten in my mind. The day in which an 11 year old, found his hand totally reconstructed by someone's lack of responsibility when it comes to cleaning up your dud fireworks. My daughter and three other kids, ranging from the nice age of 4 up till 11, went out on the beach to do some clam and shell digging. However during their nice search, Mylah came across some unused fireworks and lighters. The kids being kids, started to play but Mylah still being spooked from the night before wanted nothing to do with the fireworks and wanted to come back to shore. The other little youngster there offered to walk Mylah back to shore. Maybe 10 minutes after getting to the shore, there was a loud and horrible boom. It was louder than any fireworks I had heard the night before and the sound that followed was not of a child enjoying the firework show.

The Cry was heard from miles. It was a terrified little boy, who couldn't see anything due to the impact of the "donkey ball" going off about a foot from his face. It was a cry of a young boy, screaming for his dad. It was fear and the cry that every parent hopes they never hear their child scream. The cry after the young boy's cry for his dad, was one from his father desperately screaming for help and 911. The screams that came after that scream were from all the people in shock, worry, love, and mostly screams of total guilt. There wasn't a single parent at this camp ground that didn't ask the question, "What could I have done differently?" It was the most surreal thing but also the most amazing because with this 20/20 hindsight that we all have after the 5 hour surgery to reconstruct his hand back and the countless prayers, tears and all the questions. We all have the reality that this could of been worse.

The more I come to understand what a "donkey ball" really is, I have to thank the Good Lord we still have that little boy? I have to wonder what really enticed Mylah and the other youngster to come back to the shore? From a little ball maybe 1.5 inches in diameter, a party of about 35 people's fourth of July became something out of a Stephen King Novel. This fourth was one that changed the lives of many. I just hope that my daughter who sings more than most, loves unconditionally and smiles like no other... will one day tell me her side because tonight all that she could say outside of the facts was, "Mommy, I don't want to talk about it because I could of been hurt!"

For all my church family and anyone that has a praying bone in their body, these people need prayer. I'm not sharing the names because honestly, God knows the names because like it reads in the bible, I know every hair on your body because I made you (Proverbs 31). So just pray and God will get the memo. Thanks.

My daughter

Oh KENYA... Oh how we love thy!

What do you think the average person could do in three weeks? Clean their garage? Read two to three books? How about travel the world and hand deliver glasses to people with visual impairments? Brenda Claypool, a radiology tech here at Valley and her family did that exact thing. In the last week of November till December 14th 2009, Brenda found herself in Paris, Kenya, Rome and somehow also found time to do a Safari. The trip was part of a Christian convention held in Nairobi, which brought many different cultures together from all parts of the world. Imagine walking into a room filled with 37,000 people representing 35 different countries, all dressed and representing their communities. Brenda’s husband Jim and another man along with their families, from Spokane, were chosen to take part in this amazing opportunity.

Having typical female DNA, I instantly start to wonder “How do you pack for such a trip?” Think about it, you’re leaving Spokane in the middle of winter and going to a place that is depicted in every Hollywood movie as a “hot spot”. Me personally, I would need at least four, maybe even five suitcases. Brenda on the other hand, brought only 3 suitcases total for her and her family. Then one of those suitcases was filled with 160 glasses. Why glasses you might be asking? Well before the leaving for Kenya, Brenda went looking for a “need” that she could fill during her trip. After doing a lot of research and talking to a Jehovah witness missionary, Brenda learned that the average worker in Kenya makes only $3 a day. A pair of cheaply made glasses cost $10. This became the “need” Brenda wanted to fill.

Brenda recruited the help from hospital employees asking for donations of used eyewear and reading glasses people had lying around their homes. Then she also got a donation from the Union Gospel Mission and finally retained the rest of the glasses from fellow Jehovah witnesses. The thing that should be learned throughout this whole story is the idea that everyone has a choice, nay a responsibility to help their fellow neighbors. Valley Hospital employees came along side Brenda and helped fulfill this need in Kenya

Miracles... Real or Just an Emotional HIGH?

"Do Miracles Happen or are they just something that happened in the Bible years ago? Doesn't the Bible also say that "God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow? How does this compute?"

As the room sat quiet really trying to comprehend the question, Lisa chimes in with the suggestion that it was a "rhetorical" question, feedback was needed. Then the room became a game of "Mad Lib". Most everyone in the room, determined that miracles were still real and still happening but the census was that we're just too busy to care or notice.

Are we too busy to notice miracles?

Yeah, NO! I think the average person would notice if someone blind started to see again. I also think that if a man really did feed a whole 5000 people with just two loaves of bread and some fish. I also think this would noticed. I also think that if a huge ark showed up in yard over night, I don't know and I could be wrong, but I think you'd notice. So... my question is, "Do miracles really happen anymore?" Who knows.

I do think our definition of miracle is skewed if anything.

Miracle according to the "christian" sense means an unexpected event attributed to divine intervention, ~AKA~ God's hand in someone's life that goes against science and natural law.

However, when I think of the idea of miracle and with this new definition means, I am guilty of using the "miracle" in the wrong sense. Just last week before my Employment Law Final, I remember thinking it would be a miracle, if I could just pass the test with a grade higher than a "B". This would "wow" me but getting an "B" would not be God's hand changing the natural order of the world. Even though that would be nice (hint hint BIG GUY! :) It's still no miracle.

Then when I hear the "New BABY is born" chime go over the intercom at work, I hear people say having a baby is a miracle, but it's NOT! Don't get me wrong, I can understand how the pain of pushing a watermelon size anything through a hole the size of ... Well, you get picture! Even though, this is amazing and awesome. The only birth that has ever been a miracle was Jesus' birth. His mother, got pregnant without doing the nasty. Jesus' mother, got pregnant in a time when women where stoned to death for doing the nasty outside of marriage but somehow, in a crazy world wind of events. Mary lived and married Joesph, who knew Mary was pregnant. Doesn't this seem a little bit of a miracle in itself.

Just think about it... Mary who I think is in her early teen years, gets a visit from an angel, telling her "Your pregnant and by the way... It's God's SON!" Now I could be jumping to conclusions, but I think any teenager in their right mind would of wonder, damn what the hell did I eat, drink or smoke? I know I would of :) Then to think about telling my teenage boyfriend, "Hey want to get married and oh yeah, I'm carrying God's Child!" This is an amazing story and only in the bible does it make sense. In our time and age, Mary would of ended up in some crazy loony bin completely drugged up and her baby, well, either society would of had it taken away or she would of been forced to abort it. That's a scary thought when you really think about. So... back on track, do miracles still happen?

You know, I can't say either way. I want think that I've experienced miracles in my own life but I'm a science guru and I do think that most miracles are a little bit of coincidences. Then again, in 1996 when my family went through a house fire, which almost took the life of my little brother Steven. I can't help but wonder how so many things happened. Steven died in the house, but coughs on my dad's third try in the buring inferno. Robby passes out in the kitchen but somehow ends up outside. I could't find a door handle to save my life, something so simple seemed impossible but the door opened and I felt someone pushing me through the house to safety. I felt something and thought it was my brother but when it pushed me down the stairs, scaring the crap out of me. I turned to yell at NOTHING, Robby wasn't there. Then old people that talked to me outside, telling me to stop worrying because God had it under control. That's was an interesting conversation :) No one saw them, but they were reason I didn't run back into the buring house to try help find Steven. The whole night was blur of crazy events but is was a miracle that a family of five got out of the house fire that should of killed all of us. Who knows, but for some crazy reason... God still has me here and asking the question, "Do miracles still happen?"

What do you think?

If I Could......

About a good week ago, I ran across a friend's status post on facebook asking the question, "If you could do anything and know you wouldn't fail, what would you do?" As I stopped and thought about the question... my list of "what ifs" got huge. There was a whole string of things that I would do, if I knew I could succeed at them without failing. Then I wondered, my list of "what ifs" ....are they really things that are stamped with the knowledge that failure as the outcome or were they nothing more than things that could cause a moment of "judgement" in my life from others. Was I more afraid of the outcome or was I more afraid of what people would think. So I went and asked the question to my friends... "What was their list of things?"

The list came back; flying, singing, playing an instrument, dancing the gig and even one person stated an Iron man. The list went on and on... My list compared to thier list was pretty similar to my friend's but I also wanted to walk in Trump's office and tell him, "Your fired!"

So........ what is it about these "chance of failure accomplishments" that make us sceptical about attaining them? From what I gather, our society, thanks to television, magazines and even high school popularity contests... we have all been told our whole life that it matters what others think or do. Now my question is, how do you raise a daughter telling her that everything she wants is attainable and can be done but, your most wanted dreams, will be dreams that you fight the most for.