The Penis Stratching Post... ME?

This Friday, I spent an amazing night with Jenn tearing up downtown Spokane and then... Goodtymes. Now while we were downtown, we ran into a lot of people that I knew or had known. Jenn, of course ran into one or two men not sure how to handle her. Guys around my sexy Jenn, get a little funny. They get bashful and shy and loose every sense of coolness they thought they had. Jenn... she loves it. Actually I think her sexy goes up a couple more notches with each guy that blushes just looking at her; however, Saturday Jenn met a challenge.

So here we are at O'Doherty's, drinking, laughing and having a gay old time. Mostly "the Jenn" was making little jokes about my attraction to older men or as Jenn likes to say it... "Older Meat!" Well, as we were sitting there, I notice this young guy sitting next to me. He was almost in tears and making this horrid noise after each sip of his drink. Now looking at his drinking in front of him, to the untrained eye (or mine), it looked like some girlie poofy drink. The guy informed me that I was way wrong. It had 7 different hard liqours (Jamenson being one) and a splash of cranberry for color. It sounded nasty... Jenn noticing an opportunity to flirt a little. She jumps on board and uses me as a telephone line to her newest victum. Poor guy didn't know what hit him.... Well, after about 15 lines back and forth... all through christina the newest form of telephoning. The guy found himself blushing, giggling and really lost for words. The Jenn had won and the guy left smiling but reluctant to let Jenn out of his sight. It was funny.

We left O'Doherty's after a few drinks and went to Jimmy'z for a little dancing. Jimmy'z was packed and the bouncer wouldn't let people in. He was hand picking people from the line that he found "worthy". Five people where chosen when Jenn and me got there and we were one of the selected five. Made some people not so happy, seeing they had been waiting for a who knows how long. However, after coming to the conclusion that being pushed, touched and grabbed in "unaccidental" ways from strangers... we decided that Goodtymes would be our next hot spot.

Now when we drive out to Goodtymes, we laugh because we both know that right when we hit the door, we'll hear some flashback to some 80s one-hit wonder song. Even though we know this, we both also know that Goodtymes is always good for a "good time"; however, this time, Goodtymes didn't have a band playing. Actually Goodtymes wasn't the bar we both use to remember. It was full of people dancing to a DJ playing some HipHop song that was recent. Now... I didn't know the song, but Jenn did. So we made a bee line to the floor after getting another drink. Here we are... dancing, laughing and just having a blast. Now some how I was giving off the vibe that I wanted a partner and this very good looking black guy come up behind me. At that moment, I didn't realize it but this guy had the idea of making me "the Penis Stratching Post".

Now a couple of you might be asking... "Christina, what is a Penis Stratching Post?"

Well, glad you asked... let me enlighten you...

It's when a guy comes up behind a girl and rubs his "member" all up on your booty. It almost reminds me of a bear when they use a tree to stratch their backs. It's like these guys forgot the proper way of cleansing themselves and now have an itch they need help getting at. Then for some crazy reason... I look around the bar and realize that "we" (the girls) are competing against each other for just the chance to be a "Penis Stratching Post". ohhh.. if only those women that fought for women rights, would of seen us NOW... "We" would have done them proud! (sarcasm to the fullest!)

I am standing my ground from here on out... I will No longer Be or Accept the role as some stranger's "Penis Stratching Post"; however, if he's my man... I'd better be the only Stratching Post in his life and you better believe, I'll be the best "Penis Stratching Post" he ever had!

Side Note: Last night at Sushi with Jenn,

CHRISTINA: "Why do you think we allow ourselves to be "Penis Stratching Posts'?"

JENN: "Want to hear something deep? It's because we allow ourselves to be "Penis Stratching Posts"!

I love that girl!