'Mommy, Why aren't you Scared?"

Fear, according to Wikipedia is nothing more than an idea of a perceived threat to ones' self. Fear is the body's way of alarming you of danger and to put you to alert stats mood.

Now most people's idea of what fear is could be different. I'm totally not okay with scary movies. I have yet seen a Jason, Jaws or Halloween movie. I get scared too much, that the last movie I saw with Jenn, Jane Austen's 'Jane Eyre'; I spent most of the time watching the inside of my eyeballs because the movie scared the crap out of me. The music, the dark colors and the character's just gave me the willies. Jenn, on the other hand being a totally lovely best friend/ sister, found my fear comical and maybe a little ridicules. Jenn still teases me about it.

Tonight though, Mylah had fear with the thunder storm. She cried, wouldn't leave my side and needed to be cuddled after every loud and fearful, thunderous sound. Being a mother of many talents, I have to say cuddling with my princess is my best one and I love it; however, when she's scared and crying. The cuddling doesn't really have the same effect of just loving my princess, it's more of a 'Poor Baby / Damn this thunder!' kind of cuddling job. Well, while I was comforting Mylah, she asks me, 'Mommy, why aren't you scared of things?'

At first I wanted to laugh but seeing that my daughter right now saw me as some Super Hero that could kick thunder's ass, I didn't want to enlighten her about how wrong she was. So instead here I am writing a blog about it.

Things that scare the shit out of me -

1) Spiders... don't really need to go into a huge spill about this because who isn't and if you say your not, you're lying to yourself!

2) The idea of not being the greatest mother ever to my duaghter. I don't want my princess to grow up wishing I spent more time with her or if the Good Lord has it, takes me too early to see her grow... I don't want to waste any time I have on stuff that can be done tomorrow like laundry, homework and needing to vaccuum for the 15th time. Personally, I think playing Barbies is way better too.

3) Getting into an accident in 'bad underware'. Now I think this is a fear that my mother instilled in me from a young girl. My mom always told me that when you don't prepare, that's when bad things happen. I.E. Having only those holey, electric-green granny panties, that you only bring out when you run out of panties because the washer broke, for when you get rushed into the hospital with SINGLE - Dr. McDreamy as your doc.

4) Wasting time. Now most of my friends will tell you that I'm probably the only person you can count on to be late to anything. I will most defiantly be late to my own wedding and possibly my own funeral; however, with that being said, the reason why I am always late is because I don't want to waste any time. This means that I will count down the minutes I have to get ready and start to debate the cute level needed for the event that I am attending. In doing this, I free up more time to do other things around my house or with Mylah. This in turn makes me late to everything because I never really follow through on the list of things I debated away already.

5) Leaving this world without making a difference. I volunteer for a lot of things. Sometimes I volunteer a little too much because I get a little confused on where I should be and who needs me most; however, the thing that makes those moments worth the headache is hearing my 5 year old ask about her next time helping with feeding the poor or packing toys for kids. Personally, when I'm in front of the 'Big Guy' and He's looking at my nice size rap sheet of shit I've done, I hope the good out weighs the bad. (SIDE NOTE - Yes, I do realize that you don't get into Heaven by good works but it's couldn't hurt trying ;-) Plus I think that we are all somehow connected to each other and need one another, so I want to help and show mercy and love to as many people as I can.

Now this list could go on and on, but I won't. I have fears and even though my little princess may think I'm this amazing Butt-Kicking Super Hero with amazing PB & J sandwich making skills, I still know that deep down... my biggest fear would be taking that idea away from her and letting her see me for nothing more than just the most luckest mother alive to have God bless me as her mother. I love that girl!!!!!