Today wasn't one of my best days ever. It also wasn't even my worst day ever. It was just one of those days, where you watched the clock and swear the hour hand was going backwards instead of forward. I don't know if it's just because I have so much on my plate right now with church, volenteering, being a mom, school and work or if it's just the fact that I seem to of hit a wall of apathy. Whatever it is... today everyone at work noticed. Everyone noticed so much, that it got annoying!
I think it's lovely that everyone knows me as the girl who smiles all the time, but man, can't I have a down day. A day where I just show no emotion at all. I wasn't mad or sad or anything... I was just there to work today. By the seventh to a millionth person asking me... "Christina What's wrong? Where's your smile!" I wanted to go off and scream at people... "NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" It was a hard day!
At one point, I actually had to leave the floor to go pray because I felt myself thinking and feeling things that aren't me. I was getting mad at people caring about me. I was getting frustrated at people for showing concern. When I started to pray and ask for guidance with myself, the whole ordeal made me realize I wasn't there at my job for Jesus! I was missing my purpose of being there today, by a mile if not longer!!!!
See yesterday pastor Vaughn said something that just struck a cord with me "If you leave work mad or unsettled about a days hard work, you weren't at work for Jesus. You were there for the money and yourself." How true is that!!! That just really brought new light on me and so much conviction !!! I just really need to remember people expect my smile everyday. That's my gift God gave me, so when I hide it... I can understand why people are concerned! Plus maybe concerning comments were God hints to me saying... "Hello, Your missing ME today! Bring your focus back to ME" I don't know ... whatever it was today... I just hope tomorrow and the rest of the week is better.
The one thing that I did learn from today's ordeals is... I have a huge pet peeve about people asking you a question. You giving them anwser your anwser. Then them deciding that anwser wasn't good enough for them, so they pry... Here something to know about me, if I give you an anwser. That's the truth!!!!!!!!! I don't have an issue with holding anything back and then most of all, don't try to play Dr. Phil on me! That just doesn't go over well with me, even if I am smiling !!!! I think that was the hardest thing for me to deal with today. Anyways... just wanted to vent... thanks for reading... I am praying that tomorrow is a lot better than today.
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