So the last few days for been a little bit of a Numbing Experience... Actually the last few months have. I've found myself on a roller coaster that had amazing ups and downs but no matter how fast or slow this roller coaster went... it always brought me closer to the Lord. It always brought me to my knees praying longer and more intense. I believe in prayer and think that it's the most amazing thing in the world. I think it can cure Cancer, a dying child or move mountains... but today I got hit with what my prayer life was really about. It's about faith.

None of those things would happen because I got on my knees and prayed to THE all knowing and all powerful God. No... they happen because I know God CAN DO IT. He's more powerful than Cancer. He's more amazing than any medicine a doctor can use on a dying child... In truth... God is above anything this world can toss a person BUT ONLY... if you have faith.

So now I find myself questioning my faith. Finding it hard to really get down on my knees and pray to God or even thank him right now. I'm mad at Him. I'm pissed and in all fairness, I find myself just asking... "Dude, Did I lose some Lotto for Bad Luck?" I guess my other issue is this... I know God knows what is going on in my life and I know He knows about my pain. So why should I remind Him of it?

Well, I think prayer is typically a person's self evaluation moment they have with the Big Guy. The time in the day, where they hand God all their most intimate needs, wants and desires... even sometimes.. I confess all my crazy sin. Mostly though... prayer is my time on the BIG GUY's Couch. Where He has his tablet ready and is just wanting to know my voice. It's my time to really stop and look at life for what it really is... I mean you can't really lie to the BIG GUY... He knows everything so what's the point lying or being fake with Him!

So my predicament with writing a paper with prayer... how do I write about prayer, when right now... I'm scared to pray because I don't want to admit the last few days happened. I don't want to sit down and relive every word, moment and scary test ever again... I just want to move on... What do you do? How do you write about something you are finding so hard for yourself to do? I don't know but last night, when I asked where I could purchase a Easy Button for life... Perez... being totally amazing and a great friend... Emails me a little note... A little reminder... A little "Hey... Your still GOD'S"... All his email said..."Job... that my easy button!"

As I really stop and think about it now and really comprehend what Perez was trying to share with me. The more I realize... He was so right. Even when life seems to hand you a Crap load of Lemons... It doesn't do you and your faith any good to have a pitty-fest. You grab those lemons and make the best dang lemonade your tongue has ever tasted. (I know cheese )So tomorrow.. when I am in front of my class, trying to teach about Jesus and Prayer... I will have to stop and moment before getting up there and remind myself... NO matter what... when its all said and done... I'm still God's Terrible Two Child. I'm still his daughter, which He will look down on and sometimes think... "Man... She just needs a hug right now!" If only life could be that easy.