Man... as I woke up this morning, in my bed for the first time in weeks, I started to talk to God about LIFE and the craziness that comes with years!

SIDE NOTE: The bed was jammed packed with clothes, toys and everything else that I could put in my room. So finally last night...... I was able to take control over the mountain of boxes

everywhere and make this new house, a home for Mylah and me. Got the tree up, which I have to say looks amazing! The lights are all hung up and the stockings... Yes, are hanging by the chimney with care!

So as I wander through the house this morning with my nice hot cup of Chamomile Tea, I realize... Mylah and me are so blessed. God has really been doing wonders in my life lately, and this morning God and me had some one - on - one time to talk about everything. Just the realization of everything that has changed in the last four months... WOW... My life looks nothing like it did a couple months ago.

Here I am in a home twice the size as my old house. I have a new career goal for when I grow up. The new position with the OCC and the blessings those people bring in my life! The church group that has adopted Mylah and me as one of their own, love them!!! This new found freedom of happiness. It's like, no matter what is going on in this life... I have this peace about me. Everything and I mean everything... I bring to God. I don't think there is even a moment during the day, that I am not talking or thinking about God! It's crazy!!!!

Anyways...

As God and me are talking this morning, I can't help but bring up a conversation Aaron and me had just recently. Years ago, God sent me Aaron. He was and still is... my teddy bear! We did everything together. Most of the time, it was me talking him into Pimps-N-Hoe parties, the movies and the very popular... Pictionary Game Night with Jack and Mara! See Aaron is very reserved and well.... we both had different ideas of what fun was...Aaron's idea was staying in all night, to tinker around, under, over and/or on top of some muscle car that only a guy could love - or - it was chillin' with Jack and talking in terms - that only guys that love math and computers could ever understand. My ideas of fun... let's just say... neither of those things did anything for me! wink wink

My favorite moments with Aaron were cuddling up on his parent's couch watching the Superbowl or some stupid old movie and every once in a while... I could talk him into some chick flick movie (but not too much though ). I have a lot of memories with Aaron... one Halloween I dressed him up as Flasher! The things you can do with Panty Hose and a trench coat! lol **Wink Wink** I love Aaron and we were never anything more than friends. Never kissed or did anything... He was just my best friend, so when he decided that our friendship needed to end while I was pregnant. I was devastated and couldn't' understand why; however, God works in crazy ways.

Just a couple days ago... I got an email from Aaron and being the person that I am... I don't get halfway through the email before I found myself calling Aaron's parent's house to get Aaron phone number. Turns out... Aaron was there and we got to talk. There were a little moments of ackwardness but within two or three minutes, we are talking like no time has ever passed and laughing about how stupid life can be. Before I hung up the phone... we made plans to hang out and catch up.

Now it's been a couple days since Aaron and me hung out and still... I find myself repeating a conversation we had in my head, over and over again.

"JOHAN IS DEAD!"

Back in the day, meaning the years during and right after high school... there was this guy that all the girls liked. All the girls had a crush on and yes... he had the body that all the guys wanted! Now he wasn't the smartest in the bunch but man, he could make you laugh! I was one of those girls that had a crush on Johan. Well, I was actually one of those girls that had a crush on both, Johan and his little brother, Jordon! So as Aaron and me are going through the list of people from our past and where are they now updates... I still find myself stumbling on this fact that one of our own... in our little group... was actually dead. Now I know that death is part of life and everyone will exprience it sometime but I really found it hard to believe that one of my friends would ever die before we were all old and gray. Nieve... yes but really... the whole idea just scares me. My ten year reunion for high school is coming up in just under two years and it gets me thinking... when we all come together again. How many of my classmates will still be with us? How many will be there to share in laughs about the good old days? Johan won't be one of those and honestly..... that just seems so crazy to me!!!

Lesson... Life is too Short! Never stay mad at anyone. Love with all your heart. Smile every chance you get and heck... never stay mad at me!!!!! Wink wink and realize that tomorrow is not promised to you... heck the rest of today isn't promised to you either. God and me just really had a moment talking about life and all "real" things that happen. I just need to remember, I am God's... so when and if He calls me before I think I should be called... I know that I will be going to stay with my Father and these moments of life craziness, I hope God will finally make sense of them for me... I HOPE!